Tales from the middle of nowhere!

"Urgh! My head hurts today. Had a bit of a smash-up last night. Where? But an Irish bar of course. Me and Cool Prophet were the last ones left at it - again! So I got left with the bar bill - which I've just found in my pocket. It reads as follows:

29 pints of Guinness
16 pints of Strongbow
6 pints of Jupiler (whatever the fuck that is!)
4 pints of Heineken
3 Gordon's gin
5 Sauza Tequila
12 Bacardis
11 Vodka Stolis
14 Jameson whiskey
10 Bushmills Malt
16 bottles of Coke
7 bottles of tonic
4 7-Up

...and this is the killer: 1 glass of Port and a packet of Cheese and Onion crisps!!??"

"All came to a colossal €708.40. Bargain."

"In a bit."

Noel Gallagher